-story by N.PeeBody -Pod Photos-
A miniature Mexican beast found itself lost under the Burnside Bridge many moons ago. The locals named it 'Lil' John', but alcohol shifted it into a bruised and bloody musical terror, nicknamed 'the CHUPACABRA'. A few semi-skilled musicians fearlessly recruited him as the worlds latest, un-greatest frontman. Having only played less than a handful of shows (and practiced even less), rabid fans insist on blowing it everywhere they go. At their first Skate Rock show chaos erupted and spilled out onto the streets, leaving the headline bands to try and sift through the remaining debris of an empty venue. Nobody knows anything else about this mysterious band, but according to frontman LJ, "We've already broke-up AGAIN! and why wouldn't we?!?! If you're not have’n fun, what are you have’n? NOT FUN." Consequently, the band only re-unites for the occasional gig, by popular demand. Their motto appears to be solely one of 'having fun'. As they put it; only coaches and parents care about 'practice'. Guitarist, King-of-the-shitty claims,"After three practices, and two shows, we realized other bands were too intimidated to share a bill with us." Lead bassist, No1 agreed,"Yep. We had to stop practicing after that, fearing we'd end up turning pro. By the way, can I get a...(mumbling)." King-of-the-shitty continues,"Practice is for pros. We only care about bros and hoes! By the way, do you got a....(mumbling)."
CHUPACABRA have now played more shows than they have had practices, and have recently been sighted playing backyard birthday parties for young children, oddly enough. With offensive song titles such as Where the Cougars At?, the Sprinklahh, and Little Yum-Yums, and lyrics literally written in blood on the walls of their 'band room'. Its hard to believe anyone would invite them to play anywhere, or care about the bands poor quality (how bad they suck). "Purr-fect , we are 'Suck Rock' anyways!! We fucking invented our own genre, and its OURS. So we don’t want anyone try’n to bite our shit." claims No1. CHUPACABRA drummer, Spike Dartsmun could not be revived for comment. LJ states, "If I'm not happy, it's not happen’n!" Which may explain why the band has sworn to never play again...until their next show.
-Pod-
No comments:
Post a Comment